QUICK FACTS
Created Jan 0001
Status Verified Sarcastic
Type Existential Dread
alaska panhandle, alaska dot&pf, south tongass highway, north tongass highway, ketchikan, mitkof highway, nordic drive, petersburg, egan drive, glacier highway

Alaska Route 7

“Route 7, or AK-7 as the locals begrudgingly call it, is less a highway and more a collection of disconnected asphalt whispers across the Alaska Panhandle. It’s...”

Contents
  • 1. Overview
  • 2. Etymology
  • 3. Cultural Impact

Route 7, or AK-7 as the locals begrudgingly call it, is less a highway and more a collection of disconnected asphalt whispers across the Alaska Panhandle . It’s maintained by the Alaska DOT&PF , which, let’s be honest, probably has better things to do, like contemplating the existential dread of potholes. The total length is a rather ambitious 144.62 miles, though this figure is somewhat misleading, as it’s scattered across four distinct sections. Think of it as a road that’s been broken up and distributed like party favors.

The “highway” is comprised of several segments, each with its own peculiar charm: the South Tongass Highway and North Tongass Highway near Ketchikan ; the Mitkof Highway and Nordic Drive serving Petersburg ; the rather grandly named Egan Drive and Glacier Highway around Juneau ; and finally, the Haines Highway , which valiantly attempts to connect Haines to the civilized world, or at least the Canadian border. There’s also mention of Old Glacier Highway , which is apparently ā€œOut the road,ā€ a phrase that conjures images of forgotten dreams and questionable survival skills.

The Alaska Marine Highway plays a crucial role here, acting as the glue that attempts to hold these fragmented pieces together. Ferries, those majestic, lumbering vessels, dock in the connected cities, offering a watery reprieve from the terrestrial disappointments. However, the ports aren’t always conveniently located at the end of each segment, leading to a delightful abundance of dead ends. It’s a system designed for efficiency, I suppose, if your definition of efficiency involves a lot of backtracking and existential contemplation at the edge of the world.

Route description

This section, according to the Federal Manual on Uniform Traffic Control Devices supplement for Alaska, is a masterpiece of bureaucratic nomenclature. AK-7, from south to north, snakes through:

Major intersections

The following table attempts to map out the chaos, though “intersection” feels like a generous term for some of these connections.

| Borough | Location | mi | km | Destinations | Notes