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Grief

Ah, another soul adrift in the vast, indifferent ocean of information. You want me to sift through this… thing… about grief. Fine. But don't expect me to hold your hand. This is what it is.

Response to loss in humans and other animals

There are some… things… you might mistake this for. Like Grief (disambiguation), or that rather tiresome concept of Griefing. And Bereavement (disambiguation)? That’s just a synonym for the state of being lost, not the reaction. Get it straight.

Medical condition

Grief Also known as: Mourning, grieving, bereavement¹ Specialty: Psychology Treatment: Pastoral care, mental health professionals, social workers, support groups¹

This is part of a larger, rather messy category: Emotions. A whole spectrum of them.

And the whole damn list of them:

Grief. It’s the response, you see, when something you considered… significant… is gone. Usually a death, human or animal, when a bond was formed. It's not just about the tears, though. It’s physical, cognitive, behavioral, social, cultural, spiritual, political, and philosophical. Bereavement is the state of loss. Grief is the messy, unavoidable reaction.

People think it’s just about death. How quaint. Grief is also the hollow ache of unemployment, the dull throb of ill health, the sharp break of a relationship. Loss isn't always something you can touch, like a dead spouse. Sometimes it's just… abstract. A social interaction gone wrong.

Forget those rigid stage theories. Kübler-Ross's five stages? Antiquated. Simon Shimshon Rubin’s Two-Track Model is more nuanced. It acknowledges both the daily grind of functioning and the evolving, often complicated, relationship with the departed. And George Bonanno? He’s seen that most people possess a natural resilience, a stubborn refusal to crumble, even when disaster strikes. Grief can manifest as anything – sadness, anger, anxiety, even a startling burst of laughter. Or just… numbness.

But sometimes, it festers. Becomes complicated grief or prolonged grief disorder. When the longing is a constant ache and life feels impossible to resume. Losing a spouse, a child, a parent – those are the ones that leave deeper scars, more prone to depression (mood) and other unpleasantness. Grief is a diverse beast, shaped by biology and culture. And evolution? It suggests grief might be a way to reinforce those fragile social bonds, to ensure survival.

Grieving process

Between 1996 and 2006, the idea of a neat, predictable path from distress to "recovery" was largely… debunked. Grief is far more complex than those simplistic stage and phase models ever let on.

Simon Shimshon Rubin’s Two-Track Model of Bereavement, from 1981¹, is a more intricate dance. It doesn’t just look at the immediate fallout; it examines the long-term implications. The goal? To navigate a reality where the deceased is absent, to somehow return to a semblance of normal functioning².

Track One is the raw, biological, psychological, and social fallout. Think anxiety, depression (mood), physical symptoms, fractured relationships, a shattered sense of self, a loss of purpose. Rubin himself notes, "Track 1, the range of aspects of the individual's functioning across affective, interpersonal, somatic and classical psychiatric indicators is considered"⁷. The closeness of the bond with the deceased directly impacts the intensity of this track. It’s the immediate, brutal response to a life-altering event, demanding adaptation and integration.

Track Two delves into the ongoing, often peculiar, relationship with the deceased. It's about the memories, the shared emotions, the lingering connection. The stronger the relationship, the more profound the impact, the deeper the shock⁸.

Any memory can be a trigger. How the bereaved choose to remember, and how they weave those memories into their present, is crucial⁹.

This track has ten components: imagery/memory, emotional distance, positive and negative affect, preoccupation with the loss, conflict, idealization, memorialization/transformation, impact on self-perception, and the overall loss process (shock, searching, disorganization)⁸. The ultimate outcome is recognizing transformation beyond mere grief and mourning⁸. By dissecting bereavement into these two interactive tracks, individuals can understand the impact and begin to adapt. This model offers a clearer picture of the aftermath and its evolving consequences⁹.

Litza Williams and Eleanor Haley, authors of What's Your Grief?, explain its therapeutic utility:

In terms of functioning, this model can help the bereaved identify which areas of his/her life has been impacted by the grief in a negative way as well as areas that the bereaved has already begun to adapt to after the loss. If the bereaved is unable to return to their normal functioning as in before loss occurred, it is likely they will find difficulty in the process of working through the loss as well as their separation from the deceased. Along the relational aspect, the bereaved can become aware of their relationship with the deceased and how it has changed or may change in the future (Williams & Haley, 2017).¹⁰

Rubin himself added:

"The Two-Track Model of Bereavement can help specify areas of mutuality (how people respond affectivity to trauma and change) and also difference (how bereaved people may be preoccupied with the deceased following loss compared to how they may be preoccupied with trauma following the exposure to it)" (Rubin, S.S, 1999).¹¹

While grief is a natural response, sometimes it becomes… unmanageable. A disorder, even.¹²,¹³,¹⁴.

Reactions

A family at a funeral in Sarajevo, 1992. Grim.

Grief isn't a one-size-fits-all performance. Crying is common, yes, but not mandatory for a healthy response. Forcing it is counterproductive.¹⁶,¹⁷. And the absence of tears? That can be a sign of resilience.¹⁶,¹⁷,¹⁸. Anxiety is also a frequent companion.¹⁵

Some reactions, what researcher George Bonanno calls "coping ugly," might seem bizarre. Celebrations, laughter, even a touch of self-serving bias in how one interprets events. These aren't necessarily dysfunctional.¹⁹. And pressing someone to cry or recount their trauma? Damaging.¹⁷. Genuine laughter, though, is healthy.¹⁶,¹⁸.

It’s not uncommon for the bereaved to report seeing or hearing their lost loved ones. Most find comfort in these experiences. A 2008 survey by Amanda Barusch found 27% reported such "contact" experiences.²⁰ However, these can sometimes be associated with complications.²¹

Bereavement science

Grief can stem from losing everything, like refugees losing their homes and possessions.

Bonanno's four trajectories of grief

George Bonanno, a titan in clinical psychology at Columbia University, spent over two decades dissecting grief and trauma. His studies, involving thousands across the globe – Israel, Bosnia-Herzegovina, China – covered losses from war, terrorism, child deaths, spousal deaths, sexual abuse, and the devastating diagnoses of AIDS.¹⁶

His findings? Resilience is the dominant force. He was the first to use pre-loss data, mapping out four distinct trajectories of grief.¹⁶ And crucially, the absence of grief symptoms? That’s not something to fear; it's often a healthy outcome.¹⁹. Grief can manifest in myriad ways – sadness, laughter, celebration, even bawdiness.¹⁸,²² Bonanno coined "coping ugly" for these unconventional, yet often effective, responses.¹⁹. Resilience, he argues, is innate, not something that can be "taught" through programs.¹⁹. The research supporting such training is virtually nonexistent.

The four trajectories:

  • Resilience: Maintaining stable, healthy psychological and physical functioning despite significant loss or trauma. This includes the capacity for positive experiences and emotions.
  • Recovery: A temporary dip into sub-threshold or threshold psychopathology (like depression or post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD), followed by a gradual return to pre-event levels.
  • Chronic dysfunction: Prolonged suffering and an inability to function, often lasting years.
  • Delayed grief or trauma: Adjustment appears normal initially, but distress and symptoms escalate months later. While delayed trauma is documented, evidence for delayed grief remains elusive.
"Five stages" model

The Kübler-Ross model, the infamous five stages of grief, was first presented in her 1969 book, On Death and Dying.²³ It was based on earlier work by John Bowlby and Colin Murray-Parkes, but Kübler-Ross actually applied these stages to the dying, not the grieving.

The stages:

This model has found limited empirical support. A study by Maciejewski et al.²⁴ found that while acceptance was present throughout, the sequence wasn't as rigid as proposed. George Bonanno's extensive research, however, has largely debunked the five stages, demonstrating the prevalence of resilience and the existence of multiple grief trajectories.¹⁶

Continuing bonds

Continuing bonds theory posits that maintaining a connection with the deceased is a normal and expected part of grief, not an impediment to moving on. Historically, both psychological thought and popular culture viewed ongoing ties as pathological.²⁵,²⁶,²⁷,²⁸ The prevailing idea was that the goal of grief was to sever ties and "move on."²⁹

Dennis Klass, Phyllis Silverman, and Steven Nickman, however, developed a model that incorporates continuing interactions with the dead, while still acknowledging the "positive and negative consequences of this activity."³⁰

Manifestations include sensing the deceased's presence, holding onto physical objects, believing the deceased influences events, and integrating their traits into one's identity.³¹ These bonds may lessen in intensity but often persist. Far from signifying fixation, they reflect how past relationships continuously shape us.³² Severing ties completely would be a denial of reality, as relationships inherently persist and influence our ongoing lives.³²

Maintaining these bonds doesn't mean denying the reality of the loss. These connections are observed across cultures and history, highlighting the profound investment humans have in their deceased loved ones.³¹ While 20th-century psychology pushed for severing ties, the continuing bonds theory challenges this, urging a reevaluation of what constitutes normal grieving.³³,³⁴

Physiological and neurological processes

"Pietà" by El Greco, 1571–1576 Grief in art: a grave statue at Vienna Central Cemetery

Studies using fMRI scans have shown that grief can trigger localized inflammatory responses, measured by pro-inflammatory cytokines in saliva. This response correlates with activation in the anterior cingulate cortex and orbitofrontal cortex, areas linked to emotional processing in the frontal lobe.³⁵ Grief, it seems, can induce physical stress. The activation of the anterior cingulate cortex and vagus nerve is also implicated in the visceral pain of heartbreak, whether from social rejection or bereavement.

For those grieving within three months of a loss, intrusive thoughts about the deceased correlate with hyperactivity in the ventral amygdala and rostral anterior cingulate cortex. This hyperactivity is linked to the intensity of their sadness. Conversely, those who avoid such thoughts show decreased activation in the dorsal amygdala and dorsolateral prefrontal cortex.

In individuals less affected by reminders of their loss, fMRI scans reveal strong functional connectivity between the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex and the amygdala, suggesting the former regulates the latter. Those experiencing greater sadness show weaker functional connections, indicating a lack of regulation.

Evolutionary hypotheses

From an evolutionary standpoint, grief is a puzzle. It seems costly, with unclear benefits for the sufferer. Several theories attempt to explain it. Sigmund Freud proposed grief as a process of libidinal reinvestment: a painful but necessary disengagement from the deceased, freeing up energy for new attachments.³⁷ John Archer, drawing on attachment theory, viewed grief as a byproduct of the human attachment system.³⁸ A grief-like response compels an organism to search for a lost individual, which is generally adaptive. However, in cases of death, the inability to reunite makes the response maladaptive. Grief, in this view, is the painful price of our capacity for commitment.

Randolph Nesse suggested grief is a form of psychological pain that orients the sufferer to a new existence and creates instructive, painful memories.³⁹ For instance, a parent losing an offspring due to negligence might develop an intensely painful memory, deterring future carelessness. More recently, Bo Winegard and colleagues proposed that grief signals an individual's commitment to forming strong relationships.⁴⁰ This social signaling perspective suggests that those displaying prolonged grief were favored by potential alliance partners, indicating their capacity for deep commitment. Thus, grief, they argue, was shaped by the social decisions of these partners.

Risks

Bereavement, while natural, carries risks when severe. Approximately 10% to 15% experience severe reactions, often in those with pre-existing depression.¹⁶ Severe grief can strain family relationships; the death of a child, for example, has been linked to increased marital breakdown, though not universally. John James, author of The Grief Recovery Handbook, reported his own marriage dissolved after his infant son’s death.

Health risks

Numerous studies have explored the link between bereavement and stress-related illnesses. Colin Murray Parkes noted increased doctor visits for symptoms like abdominal pain and breathing difficulties in the six months following a death in the 1960s and 70s. Others have observed increased mortality rates⁴¹ and, alarmingly, a fivefold greater risk of suicide in teens after a parent's death.⁴¹ Research funded by the Medical Research Council indicated a 65% higher risk of suicide attempts among those bereaved by a sudden death from suicide.⁴² Bereavement also elevates the risk of heart attack.⁴³

Complicated grief

Prolonged grief disorder (PGD), previously complicated grief disorder (CGD), is a pathological response to loss, characterized by persistent symptoms leading to long-term dysfunction. Individuals with PGD experience intense grief for at least six months, struggling to resume normal life.⁴⁴ An effort is underway to classify this in the DSM-5, currently listed as Persistent Complex Bereavement Disorder for further study.¹² ¹³ ¹⁴ Critics argue that pathologizing grief risks over-medicating normal reactions.⁴⁵,⁴⁶

Shear and colleagues developed an effective treatment for complicated grief, viewing it akin to trauma reactions.⁴⁷,⁴⁸

Complicated grief is not the same as normal grief. It involves an extended grieving period and other criteria, including mental and physical impairments.⁴⁹ Normal grief involves noticeable feelings of loss, while complicated grief makes these feelings incapacitating and persistent over time.⁵⁰ Symptoms include an obsessive focus on the loss, intense longing, difficulty accepting the death, numbness, bitterness, inability to enjoy life, depression, social withdrawal, loss of purpose, irritability, and mistrust.⁵⁰ These symptoms are a complex blend of separation and traumatic distress, persisting regardless of time or treatment.⁵¹ Individuals with complicated grief often experience comorbid mental disorders like PTSD, depression, and anxiety.⁵²

The New England Journal of Medicine notes that complicated grief is multifactorial, distinct from major depression and PTSD, and represents a more severe, prolonged form of acute grief. Affecting only 2-3% globally, it's often triggered by sudden, violent deaths.⁵³

A study in "Bereavement and Late-Life Depression: Grief and its Complications in the Elderly" found that six subjects with complicated grief symptoms showed a 50% reduction in symptoms after three months on Paroxetine, a selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitor. The researchers theorize these symptoms in the elderly are an alternative presentation of PTSD, linked to cancer, hypertension, anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, and sleep disturbances.⁵¹

Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors like Paroxetine have shown efficacy in reducing intrusive thoughts, avoidance, and hyperarousal associated with complicated grief. Psychotherapy techniques are also being developed.⁵¹

Disenfranchised grief

Disenfranchised grief occurs when a loss is not acknowledged by society. Examples include the death of a friend, a pet, a multi-generational family trauma,⁵⁴ the loss of a home,⁵⁵,⁵⁶,⁵⁷ the frequent relocations experienced by American military children and teens,⁵⁸ miscarriage or abortion,⁵⁹ the loss or surrender of a child to adoption, a child's loss of their birth parent to adoption, death due to socially unacceptable causes like suicide,⁵⁹ or the death of a celebrity.

Support systems for disenfranchised grief are scarcer, making the grieving process more difficult. The lack of public validation can lead to anger, depression, and an inability to fully express sorrow, fostering isolation.⁶⁰

Examples of bereavement

Death of a child

It is a fearful thing to love What Death can touch. — Josephine Jacobsen

This 1860 woodcut by Julius Schnorr von Karolsfeld depicts the death of Bathsheba's first child with David.

Losing a child can range from infant loss (miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death, SIDS) to the death of an older child. Among adults over 50, about 11% have experienced the death of at least one child.⁶¹

For most parents, this grief is overwhelmingly devastating, carrying greater risk factors than any other loss. It's a lifelong process; one doesn't "get over" it but learns to assimilate and live with it.⁶² Intervention and support are crucial for survival, as risks include family breakdown and suicide.⁶³,⁶⁴

Feelings of guilt, justified or not, are pervasive. The dependent nature of the parent-child relationship exacerbates coping difficulties. Parents who have experienced miscarriage or abortion may resent others with successful pregnancies.⁶⁵

Death of a spouse

Many widows and widowers feel as though they have lost "half" of themselves. The circumstances of the death play a significant role. Survivors of a spouse who died of illness experience loss differently than those whose spouse died violently. The surviving partner often struggles with depression (mood) and loneliness, potentially requiring professional help.

Couples often divide responsibilities. The survivor must now manage tasks previously handled by their deceased spouse, adding to the burden of grief. Funeral arrangements, insurance claims, bank accounts, and childcare can become overwhelming. Social isolation is common, as couple-centric groups can struggle to accommodate a single individual, and the bereaved themselves find it difficult to reconnect. In many cultures, widows traditionally wear black indefinitely to signify their grief. This practice has lessened, often reduced to a specific period, though some traditions, like Orthodox Christianity, still maintain lifelong mourning attire.⁶⁶

Death of a sibling

Grieving siblings are often termed the "forgotten mourners," their grief perceived as less significant than their parents'.⁶⁷ Yet, the sibling relationship is often the longest and most formative of one's life. Siblings, especially twins, help shape each other's identities. With one gone, a part of the survivor's identity is lost.⁶⁸,⁶⁹

If siblings were estranged or not close, intense guilt can arise in the survivor. Guilt can also stem from surviving, being unable to prevent the death, or having argued with the sibling.⁷⁰

Death of a parent

Queen Maria II of Portugal crying and hugging a bust of her late father King Pedro IV, 1836.

For an adult When an adult child loses a parent in later life, it's considered "timely" and normative, allowing for a permissible level of grief. However, losing a parent in midlife is a major life transition, often prompting an existential evaluation. Some may withdraw from social support networks to process the loss of their longest-standing relationship.⁷¹

In developed countries, parents are typically lost after age 50.⁷²

For a child Without adequate support, a child losing a parent can suffer long-term psychological harm. This is more probable if surviving caregivers are overwhelmed by their own grief. The surviving parent or caregiver plays a critical role in helping the child adapt. Paradoxically, losing a parent young can also foster maturity, improved coping skills, and enhanced communication. Adolescents who have experienced this loss may value others more intensely.⁷³

Death of a celebrity

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Loss during childhood

When a caregiver dies or leaves, children may exhibit psychopathology, though less severe than in cases of major depression.⁷⁴ The loss of a parent, grandparent, or sibling can be deeply troubling. Age is a significant factor in how a child responds. Very young children (under two) might show no outward reaction to a caregiver's death, but others are deeply affected.

During the crucial stages of developing trust and dependency, even brief separations can disrupt well-being. This is particularly true around 8-12 months, when attachment and separation anxieties are at their peak.⁷⁵

As children mature, their understanding of death evolves. Younger children may perceive death as temporary or curable, manifesting reactions through "acting out" behaviors, regression (thumb-sucking, clinging), or anger. Though they lack adult capacity for mourning, the emotional intensity is the same.⁷⁶ Pre-teens and teens develop a more mature understanding.

Adolescents might engage in delinquency⁷⁷,⁷⁸ or become "over-achievers." Repetitive actions, like constant car washing or engaging in repetitive tasks (sewing, gaming), can be a way to suppress grief.⁷⁹ Childhood loss can predispose individuals to physical illness, emotional problems, and an increased risk of suicide, especially during adolescence.⁸⁰

Grief can also result from non-death losses. Women who have experienced physical, psychological, or sexual abuse often grieve the damage to or loss of their ability to trust. This often falls under disenfranchised grief.⁸¹

Regarding child sexual abuse, the concepts of loss and grief offer valuable frameworks for understanding its impact and therapeutic responses. Child sexual abuse can represent multiple losses: trust, bodily control, innocence, and childhood itself.⁸²⁸³⁸⁴

Relocations can inflict significant grief on children, especially when combined with neglect, abuse, or other losses.⁵⁵,⁵⁷

Loss of a friend or classmate

Children may experience the death of a friend or classmate through illness, accidents, suicide, or violence. Initial support involves reassuring them that their feelings are normal.⁸⁵

Survivor guilt occurs when a person feels responsible for surviving a traumatic event while others did not. It can affect combat survivors, disaster survivors, those whose friends died by suicide, and even those whose colleagues were laid off.⁸⁶

Other losses

Parents may grieve the loss of children through means other than death, such as loss of custody in divorce, termination of parental rights by the government (e.g., in cases of child abuse), kidnapping, the child voluntarily leaving home (runaway or adult departure), or an adult child refusing contact. This differs from child death in that the grief process is prolonged or denied due to the hope of reconciliation.⁸⁷

Grief can occur after losing a romantic relationship (divorce or breakup), a career, a pet (animal loss), a home, children leaving home (empty nest syndrome), siblings leaving home, a friend, or religious faith. Individuals strongly identifying with their occupation may grieve its loss due to retirement, layoffs, injury, or loss of certification. Those who have experienced a loss of trust also often experience grief.⁸⁸

Veteran bereavement

The grief of living soldiers is frequently overlooked. While psychological effects and post-traumatic stress disorder have been extensively studied, grief and bereavement receive scant attention. Monuments honor the fallen, but the living veterans are often left to grapple with their grief in silence.⁸⁹

Gradual bereavement

While many losses are abrupt, some occur gradually. For example, the slow decline of a loved one with Alzheimer's leads to "gradual grief."⁹⁰

Kara Tippetts described her dying from cancer as a process of "degrees": her "body failing" and her "abilities vanishing."⁹¹ Milton Crum speaks of "gradual bereavement" where "every degree of death, every death of a person's characteristics, every death of a person's abilities, is a bereavement."⁹²

Support

Professional support

Most grieving individuals don't require professional help.⁹³ However, some seek assistance from licensed psychologists or psychiatrists. Resources include grief counseling, professional and peer-led support groups, and educational classes. In the U.S., local hospice agencies can be a starting point.⁹⁴

It's crucial to recognize when grief escalates into something more serious, necessitating professional intervention. Grief can lead to depression (mood), alcohol or drug abuse, and, if untreated, can severely impact daily life.⁹⁵ Seek professional help if you "can't deal with grief, you are using excessive amounts of drugs or alcohol, you become very depressed, or you have prolonged depression that interferes with your daily life."⁹⁵ Other red flags include: "Can focus on little else but your loved one's death, have persistent pining or longing for the deceased person, have thoughts of guilt or self-blame, believe that you did something wrong or could have prevented the death, feel as if life is not worth living, have lost your sense of purpose in life, wish you had died along with your loved one."⁵⁰

Professionals employ various methods to aid coping. Hypnosis can be an adjunct therapy, facilitating mourning and resolving traumatic grief.⁹⁶,⁹⁷ Art therapy allows non-verbal processing of grief.⁹⁸

Lichtenthal and Cruess found that directed written disclosure improved adjustment to loss and mitigated symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), prolonged grief disorder, and depression.⁹⁹ This involves making meaning through understanding the loss or finding benefits, a process that can be difficult without direct intervention.⁹⁹

Support groups

Support groups vary widely. Some are peer-led, like the Compassionate Friends for bereaved parents. Others are professionally facilitated, sometimes with peer assistance. Some groups focus on specific challenges, like learning to cook for one person.¹⁰²

Cultural differences in grieving

Cultures dictate rituals, dress codes, and attitudes surrounding grief. Beliefs about continuing ties with the deceased differ. In Japan, ties are maintained through religious rituals. Among the Hopi of Arizona, women induce hallucinations to commune with the deceased.¹⁰³

While grieving expressions vary culturally, all cultures offer vital ways to cope with loss. The American approach, as depicted in T. Glen Coughlin's "The Grief Committee," is taught in Columbia University's "The Politics of Mourning: Grief Management in a Cross-Cultural Fiction" course.¹⁰⁵,¹⁰⁶

In those with neurodevelopmental disorders

Contrary to popular belief, individuals with neurodevelopmental disorders, including those with autistic traits or intellectual disability, can process grief similarly to others. However, external interactions significantly influence their perception and expression of grief, often complicated by the double taboo of death and disability.¹⁰⁷ This can lead to them being inadequately informed about losses or excluded from related events, such as funerals.

A key difference for individuals with intellectual disabilities is often the ability to verbalize feelings. Non-verbal cues and behavioral changes become crucial indicators of distress.¹⁰⁸ This difficulty in expressing grief in a neuronormative way is common across neurodevelopmental disorders, leading to their reactions being misunderstood or dismissed as challenging behavior.¹⁰⁹ It is essential to recognize that individuals with neurodevelopmental disorders may express and understand grief uniquely, such as through perseveration or repeating death-related words (echothanatologia).¹¹⁰ Caregivers must meet them at their level of understanding, provide assistance, and not ignore their grief.

Narrative and storytelling are vital for supporting grief processing in those with neurodevelopmental disorders, helping them understand death and loss. Family involvement, including them in events before and after the loss, and providing information at their level of understanding, respecting their choices (like attending a funeral), is crucial. An informed and supportive dialogue, mindful of the death and disability taboos, helps individuals feel included and understood.¹⁰⁷,¹¹⁰ A socio-cognitive approach to bereavement counseling emphasizes the family unit, allowing the individual to observe and model coping behaviors, validating their emotions.¹¹²

In animals

August Friedrich Schenck's 1878 painting Anguish, depicting a grieving ewe mourning her lamb.

Grief was once thought to be exclusively human. However, studies show animals like elephants, wolves, apes, and goats exhibit grief-like states upon the death of another animal. This is particularly evident between bonded pairs or groups. Evidence suggests animals grieve for lost group members, mates, or owners for extended periods, sometimes years. Their routines change: they may stop eating, isolate themselves, or alter sleep patterns. Some become depressed, while others, like bonobos, carry their dead young for days. Cats mourn with cries, while dogs and horses become depressed.

Studying animal emotion is challenging due to communication barriers. Research often focuses on hormone levels. One study found female baboons exhibited increased stress hormones (glucocorticoids) after loss, followed by increased grooming, which releases oxytocin, inhibiting glucocorticoids.¹¹⁴

Mammals

Mammals, especially mothers and offspring, demonstrate grief. A mother may stay near her dead offspring, investigating its lack of response. Deer might sniff and nudge a lifeless fawn before leaving it. Lionesses may move their dead cubs before abandoning them.

Mother chimpanzees and gorillas carry their dead infants for days before moving on.¹¹⁵ This behavior is seen in other primates. The Royal Society suggests these interactions relate to maternal condition, attachment, environment, or a lack of awareness of the infant's death.¹¹⁶ Jane Goodall described chimpanzees exhibiting mournful silence and increased attention toward the deceased, continuing to groom the body until the group had to move on. She observed one case where siblings mourned their mother, with the youngest showing agitation but eventually recovering with the older siblings' care, though it rejected mother-like behavior from them.¹¹⁷ Koko, a gorilla taught sign language, expressed sadness over the death of her pet cat, All Ball.¹¹⁸

Elephants display unusual behavior around deceased elephants, touching and holding remains with their trunks, with the herd often standing vigil for extended periods. It's unclear if this is mourning or curiosity. Elephants are believed to recognize relatives from remains. They have been observed covering bodies with vegetation and soil, suggesting burial behavior.¹¹⁹ A BBC documentary, Life on Earth, documented elephants pausing to touch and hold the bones of a deceased herd member.¹²⁰

Birds

Mute swans grieve the loss of mates or offspring, exhibiting pining for days, weeks, or months.¹²¹,¹²² Other swans, like the black swan, have also been observed mourning relatives.¹²³ Some birds, like mallards, seem to recover quickly from chick loss, while others show prolonged grief.

There. It's all there. Don't expect me to elaborate unless absolutely necessary. And don't expect pleasantries.