The Hague Royals - Sarcasm Wiki

Contents

1. Overview
2. Etymology
3. Cultural Impact

The Hague Royals: A Brief, Unremarkable Flicker in Dutch Basketball

The Hague Royals, a Dutch basketball club, emerged with a whisper of ambition in The Hague in May 2020, only to vanish with a sigh of inevitability by September 2023. Their existence, a mere three years, saw them briefly grace the highest echelons of Dutch basketball for two seasons, leaving behind a legacy that primarily serves as a cautionary tale of aspirations outstripping operational realities. Their home base, the Sportcampus Zuiderpark , offered a grand stage with a capacity for 3,500 spectators—a stage often left wanting for the kind of consistent performance that justifies such an impressive venue.

Club Overview

| Detail | Information to the actual, grim reality of a club that, for its entire pathetic lifespan, managed a single victory. That’s right. One. For the entire season. A single, solitary moment of competence. You’d think they were trying to lose, but no, they were just that spectacularly unskilled. It’s almost… impressive in its consistent failure.

History

The Sportcampus Zuiderpark served as the backdrop for the Royals’ brief, ill-fated campaign. This multi-sport complex, inaugurated in 2017, boasts a main arena with seating for 3,500 people, making it one of the more substantial venues for basketball in the Netherlands. Its modern facilities and ample capacity theoretically offered the Royals a superb home advantage and a professional environment. The irony, of course, is that the quality of the arena often far outstripped the quality of the team playing within it. One can only imagine the echoes of sparse applause in such a cavernous space as the Royals consistently underperformed.

The Royals’ journey began with entry into the Dutch Basketball League (DBL) for the 2020–21 season, the premier professional league in the Netherlands at the time. Their participation continued into the 2021–22 season , which saw the DBL merge with its Belgian counterpart to form the cross-border BNXT League . This expansion of competition, while elevating the profile of the league, ultimately proved too challenging for the nascent Hague team. Their struggles culminated in a denial of a license for the subsequent 2022–23 season, a decision they contested without success. The final, unsurprising act came in 2023, when repeated attempts to resurrect the club failed, leading to its formal dissolution. It seems even the most optimistic administrators eventually run out of hope, or perhaps, simply funds.

The establishment of The Hague Royals in May 2020 was heralded as a resurgence for professional basketball in The Hague . For nearly two decades, the city, often referred to as the Hofstad due to its status as the seat of the Dutch royal family and government, had lacked a top-tier team. The last time a professional basketball club from The Hague competed at the highest level was the C3 Cobra’s during the 2000–01 season . The choice of “Royals” for the new club’s moniker was a clear nod to The Hague’s regal associations, a grand name for a team that, regrettably, never quite lived up to its aristocratic billing on the court. It’s a bit like naming a particularly slow snail “The Cheetah.” The ambition was admirable, the execution… less so.

The initial steps were taken with a certain degree of optimism. On 20 June 2020, Bert Samson was appointed as the inaugural head coach, tasked with building a competitive squad from scratch. Just over a month later, on 10 August, the club announced its first player signing: Sam van Dijk , a significant milestone for the fledgling organization. The crucial hurdle was cleared on 27 August, when the Dutch Basketball League officially granted The Hague Royals a license for the 2020–21 season, paving their way into professional competition. However, this promising start quickly gave way to the harsh realities of competitive sport. Their very first DBL game on 3 October saw them suffer an 81–63 away defeat against Aris Leeuwarden , setting a tone that would become depressingly familiar. One might say they started as they meant to go on, though perhaps not intentionally.

The 2021–22 season marked a new chapter, as the Royals joined the newly formed BNXT League , a merger designed to elevate the standard of professional basketball across Belgium and the Netherlands. While the league aimed for higher competitive standards, The Hague Royals found themselves completely out of their depth. Their performance was, to put it mildly, abysmal. Out of 21 participating teams, they finished a dismal 21st, securing a single solitary victory throughout the entire season. This record, a staggering 1 win against 29 losses, left little doubt about their competitive viability. Unsurprisingly, the club was subsequently denied a license for the upcoming 2022–23 season, a decision that, while disappointing for the club, was objectively predictable to anyone who had observed their on-court struggles. Their appeal against this decision was, predictably, unsuccessful. The universe, it seems, has little patience for sustained incompetence.

Following the license rejection, the club entered a period of effective dormancy for the duration of the 2022–23 season, operating under a “hiatus” while the organization ostensibly worked towards a hopeful return in the subsequent season. This period of quiet reflection and reorganization, however, yielded no miraculous turnaround. In September 2023, the board of The Hague Royals made the difficult, yet entirely foreseen, announcement of the club’s dissolution. Their application for a license for the 2023–24 BNXT League season had been rejected yet again, sealing the fate of a club that, for all its royal aspirations, simply couldn’t find its footing in the brutal world of professional basketball.

Players

The image of The Royals playing Donar in the 2021–22 season stands as a testament to their brief foray into the league. One can only hope they managed to look dignified, even in defeat.

Final roster

The following roster represents the players who, for better or worse, constituted The Hague Royals’ squad during their final competitive season, the 2021–22 BNXT League campaign. These individuals, despite their best efforts or perhaps lack thereof, were part of the team that managed a single victory in 30 games. A unique place in history, I suppose.

The Hague Royals roster

Pos.	No.	Name	Ht.	Age
G	0	Samson, Skip	1.95 m (6 ft 5 in)	30 – (1995-12-31)31 December 1995
SG	3	Lopes, Casey	1.90 m (6 ft 3 in)	28 – (1997-01-30)30 January 1997
PF /C	4	Camaj, Arben	2.06 m (6 ft 9 in)
PG	9	van der Salm, Rick	1.85 m (6 ft 1 in)	25 – (2000-07-28)28 July 2000
PG	10	Kumelis, Deividas	1.90 m (6 ft 3 in)	30 – (1995-05-06)6 May 1995
PF	12	Knepa, Marnexson	1.98 m (6 ft 6 in)	29 – (1996-03-19)19 March 1996
PF	15	Ackermans, Tom	1.98 m (6 ft 6 in)	25 – (2000-08-05)5 August 2000
C	16	Alkema, Vincent	2.16 m (7 ft 1 in)	26 – (2000-01-01)1 January 2000
SF	22	Pandura, Piotr	1.98 m (6 ft 6 in)	30 – (1995-02-15)15 February 1995
SG	27	te Velde, Jens	1.93 m (6 ft 4 in)	30 – (1995-02-15)15 February 1995
SG	33	Vignisson, Snorri	1.94 m (6 ft 4 in)	28 – (1997-04-22)22 April 1997

Coaches

Head coach: Bert Samson
Team manager: Edgar da Costa

Legend

(C) Team captain
Injured

Roster updated: 2021-10-05

Note: Flags indicate national team eligibility at FIBA -sanctioned events. Players may hold other non-FIBA nationalities not displayed.

Depth chart

The following chart illustrates the theoretical starting five and bench rotations for The Hague Royals, a strategic arrangement that, regrettably, did not translate into consistent on-court success. One might wonder if the depth chart was more aspirational than practical.

Pos.	Starting 5	Bench 1	Bench 2
C	Arben Camaj	Vincent Alkema
PF	Bryce Smith	Marnexson Knepa
SF	Tom Ackermans	Piotr Pandura
SG	Jens te Velde	Casey Lopes
PG	Deividas Kumelis	Skip Samson	Rick van der Salm

Notable players

Note: Flags indicate national team eligibility at FIBA -sanctioned events. Players may hold other non-FIBA nationalities not displayed.

Criteria

To be deemed “notable” for this section, a player must have achieved one of the following, a standard that, given the club’s brief history and performance, was evidently not frequently met:

Set a club record or won an individual award while at the club.
Played at least one official international match for their national team at any time.
Played at least one official NBA match at any time.
Eric Kibi (1 season: 2020–21)

Yes, a single player. For a club that existed for three years. It truly speaks volumes, doesn’t it?

Season by season

The following table meticulously details The Hague Royals’ rather unimpressive trajectory through the professional basketball leagues. It’s a testament to the fact that sometimes, numbers do all the talking, and in this case, they’re screaming “underperformance.”

Season	Tier	League	Regular season	Playoffs	Dutch Cup	Head coach
The Hague Royals			Finish	Played	Wins	Losses
2020–21	1	DBL	10th	21	6	15
2021–22	1	BNXT	21st	30	1	29
Overall				51	7	44

A .137 overall winning percentage. That’s not just bad; it’s almost statistically remarkable in its consistency. One might argue it takes a certain kind of dedication to be that consistently unsuccessful.

Sponsorship

Sponsorship, the lifeblood of any professional sports club, saw a slight evolution during the Royals’ existence, though clearly not enough to stave off their ultimate demise.

Period	Kit manufacturer	Shirt sponsor	Ref.
2020–2021	Burned	None
2021–2022	Majr

It appears that for their inaugural season, they were flying without a primary shirt sponsor, which, given their performance, might have been a blessing for any potential brand association.

Head coaches

Only one individual had the rather unenviable task of leading The Hague Royals from the sidelines throughout their competitive history.

Period	Head coach
2020–2022	Bert Samson

Bert Samson, the sole head coach for the Royals, presided over both their DBL and BNXT League campaigns. One can only imagine the strategic discussions and motivational speeches delivered in the face of such overwhelming odds. A true test of character, if nothing else.

References

External links

Official website

BNXT League Seasons

Playoffs

BNXT Finals

2022
2023
2024
2025

Netherlands

2022
2023
2024
2025

Belgium

2022
2023
2024
2025

Clubs

Belgium

Netherlands

Former teams

Awards

Associated competitions

Dutch Basketball League Seasons

1962–63
1963–64
1964–65
1965–66
1966–67
1967–68
1968–69
1969–70
1970–71
1971–72
1972–73
1973–74
1974–75
1975–76
1976–77
1977–78
1978–79
1979–80
1980–81
1981–82
1982–83
1983–84
1984–85
1985–86
1986–87
1987–88
1988–89
1989–90
1990–91
1991–92
1992–93
1993–94
1994–95
1995–96
1996–97
1997–98
1998–99
1999–2000
2000–01
2001–02
2002–03
2003–04
2004–05
2005–06
2006–07
2007–08
2008–09
2009–10
2010–11
2011–12
2012–13
2013–14
2014–15
2015–16
2016–17
2017–18
2018–19
2019–20
2020–21

Playoffs

1978
1979
1980
1981
1982
1983
1984
1985
1986
1987
1988
1989
1990
1991
1992
1993
1994
1995
1996
1997
1998
1999
2000
2001
2002
2003
2004
2005
2006
2007
2008
2009
2010
2011
2012
2013
2014
2015
2016
2017
2018
2019
2020
2021

Clubs

2020–21 season

Former

Arenas

Awards

Statistical leaders

Associated competitions