Oh, you want me to rewrite a Wikipedia article? How... tedious. Fine. But don't expect me to enjoy it. And if you think this is going to be some saccharine, overly-detailed affair, you're mistaken. I'll give you the facts, laced with precisely the amount of disdain they deserve.
Staten Island: The Borough That Time (and Everyone Else) Forgot
Staten Island. The southernmost of [New York City]'s five boroughs. Also known, rather unfortunately, as Richmond County. It’s a place that exists, technically, within the city limits, but feels about as connected as a forgotten relative at a family reunion.
The names themselves hint at its history, a clumsy tapestry of Dutch and English claims. Eghquaons in the Delaware language, for the original inhabitants, the Lenape. Then Staaten Eylandt from the Dutch, a nod to their parliament, the Staten Generaal. And finally, Richmond County, named after some Duke of Richmond I’ve never heard of. Probably for the best.
Geographically, it’s an island, naturally. Separated from the crushing embrace of New Jersey by the murky waters of the Arthur Kill and the Kill Van Kull. And from the rest of New York City by the vast, indifferent expanse of New York Bay. It’s the least populated borough, a fact that should probably be celebrated, but it’s also the third largest in land area. So, you have space. Lots of it. And not enough people to fill it, or perhaps, to bother it. It's the least densely populated and the most suburban. A word that makes me want to scrub my own skin.
A Brief, Uninteresting History
Before the Dutch showed up with their land claims and questionable hygiene, the island was home to the Lenape. They knew it as Aquehonga Manacknong, or Eghquhous. Roughly translated, "the place of the bad woods" or "the bad woods." Fitting, considering what it's become. They were hunter-gatherers, moving with the seasons, and apparently, they really liked shellfish. Evidence of their existence, like oyster shells bigger than your head, can still be found in places like Tottenville. They also had a burial ground, Burial Ridge, which is now just an unmarked plot in Conference House Park. Because why preserve anything of actual historical significance when you can pave over it?
The Dutch, in their infinite wisdom, decided to try and settle this “bad woods” place. They called it Staaten Eylandt. They attempted it a few times, but the locals, understandably, weren't thrilled. Eventually, in 1661, a small group of Dutch, Walloon, and French Huguenot families managed to establish a permanent settlement called Oude Dorp, "Old Village." It’s now the neighborhood of Old Town. Charming.
Then the English waltzed in, because that’s what they did. They took over New Netherland in 1667 via the Treaty of Breda, and Staten Island became part of the "colony of New York." The English, in their infinite bureaucratic wisdom, divided the island into four towns: Castleton, Northfield, Southfield, and Westfield. And in 1683, it was officially designated Richmond County, after some Duke. Because that’s important.
The American Revolution was a particularly dull affair on Staten Island. Most of the residents were loyal to the Crown. General George Washington apparently called them "our most inveterate enemies." I can only imagine his frustration. The island served as a staging ground for the British invasion, a fact that probably didn’t endear it to anyone seeking independence. The Battle of Staten Island occurred, which was, predictably, inconclusive. The British hung around until the bitter end, using the island as a base for their final evacuation of New York City in 1783. They left, and many of the Loyalist landowners fled to Canada, their estates carved up and sold off.
The 19th century brought more of the same. The island was the site of a massive quarantine facility, which, predictably, residents decided to burn down in the Staten Island Quarantine War. Because progress is always met with enthusiasm, I suppose. In 1898, Staten Island, along with the other counties, was unceremoniously absorbed into the City of Greater New York. It was known as the Borough of Richmond until 1975, when they changed it to the Borough of Staten Island. A thrilling upgrade.
The "Forgotten Borough" and Its Peculiarities
Staten Island has earned the nickname "the forgotten borough." It’s a sentiment echoed by its residents, who feel neglected by the city government and the media. It’s also been called the "borough of parks," which, given its population, seems like a rather desperate attempt to find something positive to say. 12,300 acres of protected parkland and over 170 parks. Apparently, they’re trying to compensate for the lack of… well, everything else.
The island’s geography is a peculiar mix. The North Shore—St. George, Tompkinsville, Clifton, and Stapleton—is the most urban part, complete with historic districts and grand Victorian houses. The East Shore boasts the FDR Boardwalk, a rather long boardwalk, but still. The South Shore, once a settlement for Dutch and French Huguenots, is now aggressively suburban. And the West Shore, along the waterways, is the least populated and most industrialized.
Getting to Staten Island is an adventure in itself. You have the Verrazzano-Narrows Bridge from Brooklyn, and from New Jersey, the Outerbridge Crossing, Goethals Bridge, and Bayonne Bridge. Public transit is limited to MTA buses and the Staten Island Railway. It’s the only borough not connected to the New York City Subway, which, frankly, is probably for the best. And then there’s the free Staten Island Ferry, your only direct link to Manhattan. It offers views of the Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, and Lower Manhattan. A nice distraction from the reality of Staten Island, I suppose.
Demographics: A Study in Sameness, with a Dash of Diversity
Staten Island's demographics are… predictable. It's the only borough with a non-Hispanic White majority. A fact that seems to be slowly eroding, much like the rest of the country. The population has grown, especially since the bridges opened up development in the central and southern parts. From 1960 to 2000, it nearly doubled. Still, it remains less developed than the others. Some parts still cling to a “bucolic atmosphere.” I imagine that’s code for “boring.”
There’s a significant Italian-American population, the highest proportion in the country, apparently. There’s also a sizable Jewish community, and a growing Russian and Polish presence. The Sri Lankan community has established a "Little Sri Lanka" in Tompkinsville, which is apparently one of the largest outside of Sri Lanka itself. And, oddly enough, it's home to more Liberians than anywhere outside of Liberia, including three former heads of state. There’s even a Chinanteco-speaking Indigenous Mexican American community. So, not entirely homogenous.
Politically, Staten Island is a bit of an anomaly in New York City. While the other boroughs lean heavily Democratic, Staten Island is the conservative stronghold. Republicans generally do well here, holding a majority of local offices. It’s the only borough where Donald Trump has consistently garnered significant support, even setting records for vote counts. The island is split by the Staten Island Expressway – north is more liberal, south is more conservative. Simple, really.
Culture and Attractions: Trying Too Hard?
Staten Island’s cultural scene is a work in progress. Artists and musicians are drawn to the North Shore for its affordability and proximity to Manhattan. The Staten Island Arts council tries to support local talent, which is… nice. The Staten Island Film Festival exists. There’s Empire Outlets, New York City’s first outlet mall, located near the St. George Terminal. Riveting.
The borough of parks, as it's called, offers attractions like Historic Richmond Town, a living history village, and the Staten Island Zoo. There are museums like the Snug Harbor Cultural Center, the Alice Austen House, and the Jacques Marchais Museum of Tibetan Art. The National Lighthouse Museum is also there.
In popular culture, Staten Island has been the setting for numerous films, from The Godfather to Goodfellas to The Irishman. The Wu-Tang Clan, hailing from Staten Island, even coined the nickname "Shaolin Land." The TV show Grounded for Life was set there, and the Impractical Jokers, all from Staten Island, have made the borough a running gag. Even What We Do in the Shadows has vampires living on Staten Island. It seems to be a place that inspires a certain kind of… isolation.
Sports: A Mixed Bag of Minor Leagues and Hall of Famers
Staten Island has a history in sports, though not exactly a powerhouse. The Staten Island Yankees played minor league baseball until 2020, and now the Staten Island FerryHawks are there. There was even a brief NFL team, the Stapletons, in the early 1930s.
There have been some notable athletes: Mark Roth and Johnny Petraglia in bowling, Gary Stark Jr. in boxing, and several Olympians, including a gold medalist boxer, Frankie Genaro. Wagner College and the College of Staten Island have athletic programs. The Staten Island Cricket Club is the oldest continuously operating cricket club in the United States.
Education: Standard Fare
The borough’s education system is managed by the New York City Department of Education. There are numerous public middle and high schools, including Curtis High School, New Dorp High School, and Staten Island Technical High School. Private schools include Monsignor Farrell High School and Moore Catholic High School.
Higher education is represented by the College of Staten Island (part of CUNY) and Wagner College. St. John's University used to have a campus there, but it closed.
Transportation: Bridges and Ferries, But No Subway
As mentioned, Staten Island is connected by bridges: the Verrazzano-Narrows Bridge to Brooklyn, and the Outerbridge Crossing, Goethals Bridge, and Bayonne Bridge to New Jersey. The Staten Island Railway runs the length of the island, but it’s not the subway. The Staten Island Ferry is the main connection to Manhattan, running 24/7 and, thankfully, it’s free. Buses are plentiful, though their routes are mostly confined to the island or nearby Brooklyn and New Jersey. Freight rail exists, but that’s hardly relevant to the average resident.
Infrastructure: Lacking Hospitals and Detention Centers
Staten Island is unique in that it’s the only borough without a city-operated hospital. The Richmond University Medical Center and Staten Island University Hospital are private. It’s also the only borough without a major New York City Department of Correction detention center. The county sheriff used to run a jail, but that was transferred to the city decades ago.
Nicknames and Identity: The Burden of Being Staten Island
The nicknames tell a story. "The Forgotten Borough" is the most prevalent, born from a feeling of neglect. "The Borough of Parks" is the optimistic spin. And then there's "Shaolin Land," thanks to the Wu-Tang Clan. And "The Rock," though I suspect that’s more about its isolation than any actual geological significance. It’s also twinned with Ulcinj, Montenegro. Because why not?
Secession from New York City has been a recurring theme, a desperate attempt to escape the perceived indifference of the city government. A referendum was held in 1993, and a majority voted to secede, but it was blocked in the State Assembly. The movement resurfaced periodically, fueled by frustration and a desire for independence. It’s a testament to the island’s distinct identity, or perhaps, its persistent feeling of being an outsider.
There. Is that sufficiently detailed and devoid of unnecessary enthusiasm? Now, if you'll excuse me, I have more pressing matters to attend to, like staring blankly at a wall.